*Define Sexy*

Weeks back, I was in the room when suddenly, my sis and cousin barged in (not so much as a knock. Lol). Peacefully watching a movie, so I really didn’t pay attention to why they were both in my room at the same time. I heard voices, of course, but wasn’t interested until, until I was shown a picture they saw on a blog site. Thinking back now, I paused the movie; was speechless for over sixty seconds because of the alarming nature of that photograph. It got me actually turning over (what I saw), not just because of that one time picture. Days, weeks, months before that very night, I’ve been seeing questionable photos as well; displayed unapologetically by self-acclaimed and socially awarded role models plus the non-running models, showing off so much flesh for comfort. It’s practically everywhere these days; loudly in your face. Some call it self-love, embracing their bodies, blab, blab, and blab. The word sexy instantly dropped in my mind from space (laughs). Are they seeking to celebrate sexy or what? (I asked myself). So, I went searching for the meaning of sexy again (laughs). I read a lot of definition, but, had something extra, so I stuck with it.


   According to

Sexy: 1. (of a person) Having sexual appeal; suggestive of sex.

Sexy: 2. Highly appealing or interesting; attractive. Example: a really cool car, sexy ideas.

 After submitting its definition… You get this question. ”How would you define, sexy?”  Transfer of power, yes! I like it.  Before I proceed, allow me to gracefully and quickly extend the power to you as well. ”You are free to throw this article your own title.” Pretty cool stuff huh? Smiles. Ok.

 Although over the years, sexy has been accepted only (maybe not entirely) so I’ll use the word mostly; to be definition number one, in so many wrong ways possible. This has led many into the demented world of all shades of nakedness. The rate at which bodily flaunting and show off these days (in the name of fashion, trend, and sexual charm) is annoyingly high and nearly incapacitating.

Comfortably, I prefer to consider sexy ‘a matter of quality’, concept — which for the most part is the very unattractive and less used definition number two. Sexy to me is an abstract concept: humility is very sexy. Unique intelligence is sexy to me. Kindness is the sexiest thing to me. Selflessness is sexy to me. Smart work birthed in the place of hard-work is sexy to me. A well put together piece is sexy. Charisma is sexy to me. RESPECT is extremely sexy to me. A brilliant mind is sexy to me. TRUTH is sexy to me. Making an impact is sexy to me. Intelligence is sexy to me. To give your word and stand firmly by it,  is sexy to me. Character is highly sexy to me. Wisdom is really sexy to me. The list is endless (In my world ?). I find sexy, in the way I prepare my meal; speak, eat, read, write, smile, listen. Etc.


   Hold up! Here’s a thought that just crossed my mind. Perhaps, just maybe so much money has been expended on the skin and you think the best reward is to openly share with the world to get a “well done, your skin is on point”, remark. This is what I imagine it’s gotten to. Hey, you who haven’t gotten your skin cleaned up (with all the expensively dangerous and damaging long term products), you are the one covering up is for. But once you’ve succeeded in cleaning (according to whatever standard), Flaunt it.


My questions to you:

Woman, what’s the end goal of this new show it all, don’t keep little for you, craze? When did it become OK to sit for a photo shoot, and you give the world a show of your thigh enough to virtually get to sort out the color of your undergarment or (This one is worse) see the size of your nipple, just because I am on a surfing mission to get certain information or scan through a magazine.

Help me get something straight, please. Is sexy the new slutty (Haywire)? Help me get it straight yet again. When did it become a crime to be decently covered and yet recognize how powerfully attractive you are?

Will it deteriorate to only nude pictures before long? Or this is merely an experiment-season. Is there hope for the future, to trust that after this flaunting phase, you will arrive back to decency? Will moderation, see the brightness of daylight again?

Will I be able to glance at the front pages of magazines, freely visit social media pages, blog sites, watch TV and her sisters; and give thanks for a new reality which has brought an end to this phase? Will the young ones coming behind, have something positive to look up to? If this is only an experiment to admire your barely half covered body, can you do me a favor by keeping it all in your personal archive for your eyes only?

Hey, who do you really flaunt for, you? If yes, you should have them in your archive and exclusively show those you wish to, by sharing privately. “ It is my right, doesn’t make it right”. Simply stated. Precisely because it’s your absolute right to flaunt your body in the name of whatever the mission is, doesn’t make half nude pictures loudly posted on any platform or pages of magazines right.

The men? I laugh in French. These men are breaking new grounds like they’ve been doing since and before the days of Albert Einstein, all properly covered. They haven’t stopped yet; they don’t plan to stop anytime soon (And I love them all for that and more). So why be the ones feeding their tired eyes when they have a few minutes time out? Why won’t they laugh you down, when you try putting on your game face; button less, when they are all button up. Why should they give your-see-through-all-things-body a chance to make a point (which could be valid but never sees the light of day).

The advertisement and project managers? Oh dear, they’ll forget you the moment they are done with you. Case closed on that one, leaving you with the aftermath.

”See through body Ain’t sexy. It is disgusting and it is really appalling.’

Hey, rest easy DeeAmi. What’s all this churning about, though. They didn’t force these clothes on you after all, did they?  Why should this be a cause for concern?  They didn’t come grab your photos from your archive. They didn’t send you to a photo gallery then forced you into taking revealing shots and then display them, so why the vexation really?


   My answer is simple. My vexation is dedicated to the young girls today whose innocence is being corrupted and polluted by the distracting visual influence they wake up to every day. I write for the future woman who is struggling with her teens now (There is a woman in every girl child and there is a girl child in every woman). I call for her to know that decency can be the new sexy. Sexy is her beautiful, brilliant brain. I need her to know, responsible and extraordinary heads will definitely turn in appreciation of her well covered body, and applaud her in respect, for, protecting her bodily functions. Today, I refuse to cry for her because, I can do something about it; something  I am doing right now! Not certain how many people will read, understand and share this. Still, I am fulfilled if just one grown woman read and think twice before uploading another private photo, publicly. If one teenage girl, soon to be a young lady, and one day end up a strong woman, reads this and nods her head in agreement. Just one with a healthy mind is powerful enough to deliver a nation and set history straight. I am thankful; if one father, uncle, brother, reads this and nods in agreement enough to share.


   Sex always sells. That’s what they all tell us today (TV, social media and Co). It sells alright. The sorry thing is, they don’t tell you what it sells. I’ll tell you this right here and now. “It sells you off into slavery of all sorts, and compensate you with gigantic pain. A pain with no pain killer.” Girl child! Sex sells, but please don’t be the one selling it. You are sexy covered, and trust me when I say; you can add value to whatever product or organization, that way.  Young lady, It’s a global community, the world we live in. ‘’Your life may be personal, but it’s not private’’, don’t forget that. You are “The Sexy.’’ not that overly-revealing-can’t- breathe-in-it-sexually-provocative-outfit. Oh, how I desire you rock that maxi (smiles), pencil skirt, well fitted dress, bohemian flowery skirts, jeans, hoodie, well cut out suit, tailored shirt, polo, properly fitted jumpsuit. Then, take a deep breath long enough to look inward, inhale and exhale… the true meaning you give sexy.


   Be neat, be classy, be original. Create your covered style. Be the decent fashion. It’s not in vogue anymore, neither is it celebrated. ‘’Bring It Back’’. Dare to allow decent fashion live on; walk your path as you effortlessly rock it. What’s in it for me, you ask. What’s the reward? Young woman, you will bring the attention of great minds on the dot, enough to introduce them to the inner you (The pure beauty that creates and outweighs sexy). You will command loudly spoken and silent respect. The distinction becomes effortlessly flawless. Your children will thank you and call you blessed. You won’t require all the feminism noise to be heard, because, they will catch and accord you…, Your rightful space as you go about your work with rightly placed priorities. You will boldly earn the, ‘’I am more than what I wear tag without the stress of screaming down your head, as you smile on unstopped with your head held high.  It’s a total win-win package, my young lady. Don’t you just agree? *Wink.


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  • Reply Kwe September 28, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    This is a great post ! It just addressed our value system

    • Reply DeeAmi September 29, 2016 at 2:12 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed the read, Kwe. Thanks for reading.

  • Reply reina September 28, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    Very true!!!!!!! @deeAmi

    • Reply DeeAmi September 29, 2016 at 2:14 am

      Thanks for reading, Reina.

  • Reply B.B September 28, 2016 at 10:38 pm

    I completely agree. “The men? I laugh in French. These men are breaking new grounds like they’ve been doing since and before the days of Albert Einstein, all properly covered” I couldn’t agree more. So true. I wish everyone would read this and not just read but also be challenged to truly think about it, men and women alike. This is a truly amazing post, thanks for sharing. God bless you.

    • Reply DeeAmi September 29, 2016 at 2:21 am

      Awwwwwwwww amen. God bless you more, B.B. And, for thanking me, thank you. I really do admire men; the responsible ones breaking barriers to conquer new grounds. Yes, I check with you, we all need to truly think about it. Thanks again for reading.

  • Reply Yvonne September 29, 2016 at 3:54 am

    I completely agree with you. Of a truth our society today frowns at decency and accepts indecency as sexy. Which shouldn’t be because Decency is beautiful. We need to go back to the foundation and like the Bible says without holiness we cannot see God. What greater way to show holiness than to be decent and be moderate in all we do. Why show off your skin to get that man when you can be decent and let him strive to get the beautiful Gold that you are. God bought us all with a price and our body is His temple. We should treat our body like Gold and not expose the gold to all and sundry. Decency should be seen in all that we do and not only in our clothes but in our words as well. So much to say but all we can do is pray for our generation.

    • Reply DeeAmi September 29, 2016 at 4:22 am

      I check with you, Yvonne. I hear you very loud… pray for our generation. It’s a need now. I believe prayer changes things, so we can’t stop praying. But, as we raise our voices to heaven, we should also not neglect the work. There is work to do, one we should all be doing all already — CLEAN HOUSE. Thanks for reading.

  • Reply ofe October 3, 2016 at 12:10 am

    Hmm….. this is deep, decency is sexy, but humans have narrowed the meaning of words into the opposite and use them wrongly. People should choose to represent them self well cos it tell a lot from where you are coming and who you are.Being different and standing out is sexy.because of the society we find ourselves and the increase in technology should not change our morals and landmark.

    • Reply DeeAmi October 6, 2016 at 9:47 pm

      Oh yes! Decency is sexy. I totally check you. We must keep to the standard. Words have truly been narrowed and wrongly used, pretty much. We can’t allow trends take over. Let’s. Spread. The. Word. Thanks for reading, Ofe.


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